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Notice: GeekPress is back up and running, thanks to Paul! It's still a not-so-serious tech news blog, but the format is significantly looser. Diana, having given up programming for philosophy, has her own philosophical blog NoodleFood. More of her work can be found at DianaHsieh.com.

Disk Drive Horror

I found this story on Bad Chickens. I have no idea if this is true. But it is funny. -- Diana Hsieh

Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this Install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."

Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"

Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."

Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"

Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either."

Tech Support: "You did what, sir?"

Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, But it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."

Tech Support: "I don't understand, sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it. And I used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."

Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?" At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.

Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?"

Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your defective disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."

Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was Sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?"

[SILENCE!]

Tech Support: "Sir?"

Customer: "Yes."

Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer!"

Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"

Customer: "Ummmm."

Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we record every call and have it on tape?"

Customer (now rather humbled): "But you're supposed to help!"

Tech Support: "I am sorry, sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day."