Invention of the day: Thong to neutralize the odor of doggy flatulence. No, really. (Via Rand Simberg.)

Best euphemism for "masturbation": According to our local newspaper, the police are calling it "intent to litter". No, really. (Via Little F*cking Ray of Sunshine.)

New institute devoted to the science of chewing gum. Funded by the Wrigley company, of course. No, really.